Resident of The United States 2016

Hi everybody! My name is ? Well, I'll figure it out somehow. I know my name and you know who I am ! I've been comin' here for the last twenty five years!I'll tell you what-go get me one of those really smart Smartphones.They gotta guy on there named James. Hello James ? This is me.I need to know my name right now because people are askin'! Who am I ? A " Resident of The United States" ? No,I can't run for "President". I already served my time! Four more years ? I just got outta the joint! You want me to run against Thillery and Ump ? No! No! The Olympics is over ! Yeah,I'm wearin' gold ,It goes with my new shoes.they're called , "Diggoes" .When Ump puts up the fence, I' ll be ready to dig and go ! And when Thillery steals Ump's thunder...you know how the sayin' goes- I'm outta here ! Bolt ain't got nothing on me ! I can do an 8.1 with both legs tied behind my back ! No drones Jones- just fact! Hey James! When you figure out who I am-call me back. Better yet-just send me a text !!