The Lethal Lickedly Kiss

Valentine's Day brings back so many memories! I don't remember my first kiss
but I do remember the addage,"All is fair in Love and War".As a guy, I always wanted to be in control.Of course, ladies liked to rattle that notion.
One day, the young woman used the element of surprise on me.She laid 'a secret martial art lickedly kiss' on me.She told me she learned the lightning strike maneuver in "The Transkei".Shocked,I froze-not wanting to lose control.Before I could regain my composure,she laid another'Lickedly kiss' on me.I decided to surrender and threw down my arms. She used both of them against me,reduced me to mush and had her way with me!
I remember that there is nothing worse than the agony of defeat. I had lost the battle but somehow had 'won the war'!

The Thief

Five days a week for the last 18 months,I was victimized by 'The Thief'.
Buying a daily paper and a bottle of green tea every morning at a small cafe' downtown set old Flash Mc Cool up as a mark.Each morning,the
captivating cashier cleverly swapped seductive glances and more for my cold cash.Day by day,fiber by fiber she dissected my heart,leaving a gaping hole
behind the red hankerchief in my suit jacket pocket!
A daily irresistible smile, whiff of hypnotic perfume,a sheer blouse, a
cheerful "Good morning" and a 'longing wish' for a nice weekend were the tools of her trade!Then, there was the shocking and maddening lip gloss that altered my senses and enabled my heart to be secreted away to some special place.
Now,like a zombie with wide-eyes, heavy panting and eternal gratitude,I
accept her gift of a modified heart this Valentine's Day.My heart now skips a beat only when she is near ! You see, she only
stole my heart to give it back to me when it counted !