Quicktown

Every neighborhood has one.You know,the wooded place just around the bend in the road that makes your spine crawl and beads of sweat run down your forehead.No one dares to go there at night!
I went there once and met an 80 year old man nick-named,"stick shift".Long scraggly hair,gnarled fingers bent from arthritis,corns and bunions on his feet,"Stick shift"
was a sight to see."Stick shift, like all the old people who lived in the wooded area
around the bend never walked. He ran everywhere! So did all the other old people.

I caught up with him once, jogged beside him and asked him to stop a minute and tell me why he ran everywhere. He shivered as his eyes jumped nervously from side to side and answered," Oooh noooooo! Gotta goooo!Can't stop now.Can't go slooow!

I later ran into a young boy sitting on a rock near the road and asked him why all the old people ran everywhere. The boy told me about the legend of the "witches of
Hollow Lane" who lived near the bend in the road and could be heard at midnight
singing,"Cook him,cook him,cook him with dough! We'll get him tender and eat him slooow!" For several years now (according to the boy) all the old people who walked slow had been disappearing and that the only seniors left were the ones who ,"ran everywhere they had to go".He said that the old people made the connection with
the legend of the witches of Hollow Lane and the disappearances of slow old folks.
The boy then explained that "stick shift got his nick-name because whenever he'd jog near the bend in the road, he'd abandon his jog and sprint at his top speed until he passed the Hollow.
After I left the boy,I ran into Stick shift again and told him he could relax, slow down and talk to me because he'd left the Hollow miles ago.Stick shift replied,
"Ooooh nooooo! Gotta goooo! Can't be caught going too slooooow!"
It just goes to show you that even after you leave your outside world of fear, you
sometimes retreat to places of dread within yourself. I learned that I should never
try to stop a man engaged in a ingrained habit of survival!Leave well enough alone! Sorry folks but old Flash has got to gooooo!

The Creek Monster

Dusk has fallen and the trail is hot.Nearby,is the foul scent of the blood-shot,yellow-eyed 'Wissahickon Creek Monster'.I caught a glimpse of it once and ran into a tree! Past eyewitnesses have reported seeing a creature with,"the tail of a
tadpole,legs and claws of a raccoon and the face of a woodchuck".I thought for a moment that it was my homie,Rob's old girlfriend but I knew she couldn't chuck wood.Others have said," It had 4 inch long, bushy eyebrows". That could have been Mr. Roper,my old mechanical drawing teacher but he died years ago.
Legend has it that on Halloween night, the creature lets out a frightful howl in the night, then leaves the woods (loping along with a hump in his back) by crossing the railroad tracks, looking for little kids to devour.
The creature follows the scent of scrubby little kids,who don't wash behind their ears and wear dirty socks.He watches the kids' bedroom windows and when the lights go
out, walks up the wall like a fly.Then, leaps on the rooftop to eat an appetizer of
blue jay nest eggs laying in the rooftop gutters.Then, for dessert he sniffs around for young children to devour!
The creature cringes at the sight of obedient and neat kids who get good grades on their report card.To protect yourself you have to keep a locked window,shine a bright flashlight beam;keep a clean bedroom and have a report card with an A in Art.If you flunk lunch and recess, you're doomed!
The only surefire way to keep the Creek Monster away is to post 'No knock-No Entry
sticky decals' on your bedroom windows and doors.Then, hope verrry hard that I can catch him tonight and teach him how to read....

The Great Halloween Trick

In the Flash Mc Cool Hobo clown 'boot camp',Dr. Trash (rookie hobo clown) was
to learn to be trustworthy.Well, Dr. Trash had no part of it and played a trick on Flash.Sometimes, you just have to take Tricks in stride...and Flash did just that...

The Tug of War

'I don't know who invented this great tug of war game but I am certain it has been around a long time.Whoever has the greatest pull, WINS! Just don't humiliate your opponent! The ground may not be as soft when it's time for you to fall!'
Flash Mc Cool

A Two-Week 2011 NBA Half-time Show ?

The 2011 NBA Lockout was too much to bear! Rumor had it that a two-week half time show,featuring cheerleaders in one-piece pajamas would replace the players!Whoa! Now you know I had to investigate that! Play money and profits aside,fans need some game to break the stress!Too much work! Not enough play! Too little collective bargaining-not enough pay ! Hey,where did all those jobs go? A certain party and his homie are not going to lay down on the job. In fact, we're on the job for the next two weeks, as soon as we can find those 1-piece pajama -clad cheerleaders to cheer us on !
Send in the clowns !

Will Work for Food

In Philadelphia,Pennsylvania,USA (the location for the Cold Case TV series)my hobo
clown detective investigation found evidence of the existence of an economy amongst predators that will work for food.The investigative trail began twenty-five miles away from the Gary Heidnik torture/murder chamber and 30 miles from the house in which Edgar Allen Poe lived. A few miles from there was the flooded out basement row house that spawned the urban legend of 'The Turtle Lady'.Passing school children would run past the house in fear of being snatched into the dark watery basement and led to a spooky demise.

Why did I decide to look into the matter of economics and predators? Well,
strangely enough,the upcoming Halloween season,the sputtering US economy and the growing wall street protests evoked the question of whether there is a free economic lesson to be learned from those predators who work for food? In Philadelphia, in October there is an annual explosion of spider webs on any conceivable surface.So, the spider became the focus of my query.

What I found was that spiders have an ancient history as ' construction engineers who have mastered the use of methods and materials'. Who taught them how to
construct ? Are all their skills innate ? The answers to this these questions are beyond the scope of this investigation.What I did learn, was that spiders
became master predatory food gatherers for their own survival and the survival of mankind.An actual 'creepy,crawly, spidery economy of sorts' does exists and can be mimicked by mankind .A very detailed breakdown of such findings can be found at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_web.At this site,surfing the web is taken to a new level !

The Surreal Birthday Gift

Tonight (one day after my birthday after questioning whether my messages were getting out there in cyberspace)I sat and searched the internet to find information on Flash Mc Cool and Norman Johnson. To my surprise,I discovered an unknown reviewer's Forward testimonial of my Scribd.com eBook at
http://www.cyberax.eu/book/1922727/flash-mc-cool-blogsIt has been quite a while since I contributed to Scribd.com and I had not seen the review.Tonight's blog will capture and share the entire unedited review (with full attribution to the above-referenced website),





"Flash Mc Cool Blogs
The Humorous Meditation Blogs of Flash Mc Cool,as created by Norm Johnson,Actor,Comedian,Short-film producer.
Flash Mc Cool Blogs begins with this writer's opinion and his ideas are developed on the rest of eBook. Basically the entire Flash Mc Cool Blogs ebook consists to implement autor's ideas.

Flash Mc Cool Blogs

The scholar only knows how dear these silent, yet eloquent, companions of pure thoughts and innocent hours become in the season of adversity. When all that is worldly turns to dross around us, these only retain their steady value.
Flash Mc Cool Blogs is a good book? Keep in mind that, the best of a book is not the thought which it contains, but the thought which it suggests; just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones but in the echoes of our hearts.
These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves. From each of them goes out its own voice... and just as the touch of a button on our set will fill the room with music, so by taking down one of these volumes and opening it, one can call into range the voice of a man far distant in time and space, and hear him speaking to us, mind to mind, heart to heart.
A guide in life, Flash Mc Cool Blogs, can bring you to the light, your ideas will be more complex and your posibilities to keep a conversation, everywhere in this modern society, will be improved, with every chapter that you read from Flash Mc Cool Blogs.
A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face and Flash Mc Cool Blogs is a perfect place for this. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy.
Read now Flash Mc Cool Blogs

People that no like to read, does not have dreams. Read, read, read and your dreams will be beautiful.
There are books so alive that you're always afraid that while you weren't reading, the book has gone and changed, has shifted like a river; while you went on living, it went on living too, and like a river moved on and moved away. No one has stepped twice into the same river. But did anyone ever step twice into the same book?
Offers a fascinating ideas about owrld, and style of living in this modern society, of 21th century. A highly readable, engaging book for word buffs and anyone, not only fans of this kind of book.
Flash Mc Cool Blogs is a book, with pages that have stuck together for want of use: my mind needs unpacking and the truths stored within must be turned over from time to time, to be ready when occasion demands.

Flash Cool Blogs"

Tea,Politics,Coffee and Jobs

As I wish myself a 'Happy Birthday' today,I wonder how I find myself in this place.
Here I sit, sloshing my taste buds with the apple cider of October. One honest swig follows a naughty nip, while this old hoboclown detective is dismayed by a new and nagging, yet perplexing analogy- 'Tea is to Politics as Coffee is to Jobs'.

The evidence of past and current events collide head-on, leaving yours truly somewhat whip lashed by the analogy.A quick digest of the War on Poverty at e.wikipedia.org ,described the rise and fall of LBJ's "Great Society" and the application of "federal funds" via the Office of Economic Opportunity to "target U.S. poverty". Predictably,these programs were rejected by many in the 1970's.
Speed forward to 2011 and we see the birth of the Tea Party, challenging big government and over-regulation of the economy.Another quick and tasty glance at current events, yields evidence of coffee merchants
partnering with other concerns to help Americans create jobs! The evidence is at
the Starbucks.com website, which describes a "responsible" joint venture between Starbucks and the "Opportunity Finance Network" to provide loans "to under served
community businesses".I love the new flavor !

I say, cheers to Starbucks while I continue to cuddle my cider,tickle my tea and
caress my coffee as I juggle through my jester's job!

The American Dream

This October,2011,I am hot on the trail of The American Dream.The urgency of this dogged pursuit was triggered by current events on the national scene.I detected
a hot lead at the Martin Luther King,Jr. Washington DC National Memorial Project.
Dr. King delivered a paper on The American Dream at Ebenezer Baptist Church,Atlanta, Georgia on 4 July 1965.In that document, Dr. King said,
" It is found in those majestic words of the Declaration of Independence,words lifted to cosmic proportions: " We hold these truths to be self-evident,that all men are created equal,that they are endowed by God,Creator,with certain inalienable Rights,that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."This is a dream.It's a great dream."
Another lead was found in an October 20,1995 Guest Opinion Article in The Philadelphia Daily News,
" The Million Man March in Washington was a noble,peaceful people's effort to get the Afro-American community and the United states of America to look itself in the mirror...The crusaders marched without wages,riches or rank.They carried their hopes,dreams,,ambitions,talents and toil and placed them at the seat of government for the world to see." The author of that opinion also reported that,"The
march has a rich basis in African folklore,tradition and Afrocentric sentiment as
evidenced by (several)sayings including:

"Work must be inspired by the right ideals, and education must not simply teach work but life based on those ideals."
W.E.B. Du Bois

" I believe in recognizing every human being as a human being-neither white,black,brown or red."
Malcolm X

I also found leads to the American Dream from an unlikely contemporary source,
Woopidoo.com. The following quotations about greed were found listed at this internet website:

" Most of the common stocks are subject to irrational and excessive
price fluctuations in both directions as the consequence of the ingrained
tendency of most people to speculate or gamble...to give way to hope,fear
and greed."
Benjamin Graham

"My major problem with the world is a problem of scarcity in the midst
of plenty...of people starving while there are unused resources...
people having skills which are not being used."
Milton Friedman

" If you think of life as like a big pie, you can try to hold the
whole pie and kill yourself trying to keep it or you can slice it up
and give some to the people around you and you still have plenty left
for yourself."
Jay Leno

Now , that last quote really impressed me!Was it credited to a recent
graduate of the college of clowns, the celebrated television talk show mogul, Jay Leno ? You never know what humorous facts investigations will turn up ...

Political Fright Night

It's nice to be on vacation and just lounging around the cave with the remote.With a birthday coming tomorrow for yours truly,Grunge is the order of the day!Yesterday,the Phillies won game one (11-6) vs. the St. Louis Cardinals in the opening NL Division series.This afternoon,the Philadelphia Eagles go against the 49'ers with
Michael Vick back in play as quarterback.
Halloween is fast approaching and so are my clownish pranks of mischief-making.
I am working on a political spoof Halloween newsletter edition,entitled,'Political
Fright Night',

'A ghost-like character (in a Ben Franklin costume) hobbled from door to door
on Wall Street and posted the quotation,A Penny yearned is a penny spurned, as
hundreds of kids ran around peering through play money dollar-bill masks.

Palin's great pumpkin glow is palin' as she uses a rogue water gun to spray a
fine mist of tea on urchins wearing the masks of political candidates.

Obama's most-feared political opponent and as yet undeclared candidate,
Flash Mc Cool, considers being drafted by a rag-tag group of paupers.They
claim that Flash is a more dapper dresser, has a better old school hook shot and
that Flash's nose is Nosier (in its' Red State).'

It's time to listen to The Cool Song as I ponder drafts of the next few spoof news
tidbits...