Pick 'em Clean !

'Alright boys !! Pick 'em clean! And don't leave nothing to chance! After all,
I'm yo' Daddy! Who will tell you if I don't ? The ladies will thank you for it !'
No, this is not a quote from an old Bogart movie.The fictitious quote comes from
a real life drama, involving this old hoboclown the other day in Mickey D's.
There I was, in all my regal ineptitude at the fast food counter ordering a burger,fries and a coke.The tab came to "six dollars and fifteen cents". I fished around in my pocket to find some real cash money; pulled out seven dollars,put back the one and dug deeper for fifteen-cents. Proud of myself,I stuck out my chest (as ten other customers looked on) and handed the pretty young lady cashier the money.She looked down at the money ,shrieked and yelled," Oh! What did he give me ? " Thirty -two eyes, including my pair looked at her trembling hands as she shook loose what looked like a tiny rubber spider, or a cootie.To my embarassment,I quickly apologized,'Sorry, ...just some pocket lint'. The pretty little thing breathed a sigh of relief, smiled and said,"Oh, that's OK ". Already blushing without my red nose, I wanted to roar in laughter but the twenty other customers were already doing that.
I haven't pulled a rubber spider trick on the ladies in years and really never expected the embarassing pocket lint.So, I'm passing this note of advice to all you
young clowns: When you turn the hands of the clock back in the Fall and change the
smoke detector batteries (like the Philadelphia Fire Department advises) also
remove the pocket lint from all your pockets. Better yet, just remove all your pocket
lints whenever you clean your belly button and pick your toes...the ladies will love you for it !!

The House Mouse

I was nearly hypnotized as I watched the wretched,worn and weary House Mouse
struggle to have a Happy Thanksgiving.Disappointed and aged by world-wide greed and grief,the old mouse could not leave his boarded up mouse hole.You see, the house in which he lived was in foreclosure.The bank had changed the locks,boarded up the windows and even tacked his mouse hole shut.The old mouse could only get one whitened whisker through the hole.He had one piece of very old cheese left and was in for a very bleak Thanksgiving Holiday.He wished for a miracle and suddenly a praying mantis descended into his hole on a single ray of sunshine.The mantis prayed with him for the miracle.Mysteriously,Ida the spider appeared in his old hole in the wall and decorated it with with her very best silk.A petite ladybug arrived and adorned his old hole with green garnishing.A carpet beetle cut a rug for a small comfortable bed.Five lightning bugs pulled up and hung their lights around the mouse's hole.Twelve carpenter ants made a small dining table on which a tomato worm and a potato bug laid their harvests. Whisper,the house tom cat, arrived and donated a hairball,shaped into a tiny pillow for the old mouse.Finally, a neighboring woodpecker arrived and pecked a new opening in the boarded up hole.Now,the old mouse could celebrate his last Thanksgiving at his old house: he was thankful for the old adage that friends in need- were friends in deed.

Waves

'Waves are wondrous Natural events! Just as the tides rush in and out, waves come and they go.Some people ride them.Others listen to them; while many will wait them out.Others will simply watch them.Some waves get stirred up and become angry.Others
become placid and still unexpectedly.Usually,the waves make the Man and not the other way around!'
Quote by Flash Mc Cool